mouth full of white lies
by perfectlyrose
Summary: The Time War has taken its toll on the Eighth Doctor and he's exhausted and bitter and very suspicious of the blonde stranger who lets herself into his TARDIS and seems to know him.
1. Chapter 1

The Doctor piloted the TARDIS to a planet that was as far from the battle he'd just led as he could manage. Technically, he was supposed to go back to Gallifrey for a debrief and to get his next assignment but, as far as he was concerned, they could wait a day or two for him to recoup. Romana would understand. At the very least, she would let him have the time and not berate him for it too much when she inevitably called him back to the war room.

As soon as his ship materialized with a bump and a rattle, the Doctor ran a soothing hand over the edge of the console before stumbling to his armchair and collapsing into it. It had been a rough go of it for both him and his ship. They needed rest and time to recuperate but those things were luxuries that couldn't be afforded during war.

There was a dried streak of blood on his cheekbone and another, fresher wound near his left temple that was still tacky. He should go to the medbay to clean up, he knew he should, but he couldn't bring himself to move from his chair now that he was seated.

He slumped, boneless in his exhaustion. Images of the horrors of the day played on the back of his eyelids. It was flashes from the temporal grenades exploding and screams of his comrades and allies falling on all sides. It was the limp hand of the man he'd failed to save. The abandoned toy doll stained with blood in the middle of the street.

He didn't know how much longer he could keep fighting this war. He didn't know if this war would ever end, wrapped up in time as it was.

The Doctor slid further down in his chair, any semblance of good posture disappearing. All he wanted was a cup of tea and a few hours of sleep without nightmares. The first at least was doable if he could muster the energy to walk to the galley but the second was something even his wonderful ship couldn't provide for him.

The corners of his mouth quirked up in a weak smile when the TARDIS's hum brightened in tone. Apparently he hadn't been complimenting the old girl enough if such an offhand comment had such an effect.

The ship sent him the mental equivalent of blowing a raspberry at him before radiating golden joy and excitement once more.

He dragged himself upright in his chair, sending the TARDIS an inquisitive nudge that she ignored. He was about to press her for answers when he heard the distinctive scratching of a key sliding into the door lock.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

In a flash of blue Rose stumbled onto the rocky terrain of yet another unfamiliar planet. She raised a hand to where a stone had hit the back of her head as she left her previous location. There was a sore spot but luckily no blood. Mickey and Pete would have a conniption if she was bleeding when she got back to HQ again. They were already wary about her jumping from one set of coordinates to another without a stop back at HQ in between but the rate at which the stars were disappearing had everyone on edge and so they hadn't been able to argue with her logic.

She had to find the right universe so she could latch onto it and start searching for the Doctor in it and the only way to get to that point was by trial and error.

Rose took a step forward, trying to spot any identifiable features or signs of civilization that could help her deduce where she was. Something here felt _right_. There was some sort of resonance in the air that made her suspect she was in the right universe at last but she needed something to prove it.

She turned in a circle, hand on the holster of the stun gun she brought with her on every jump in case danger was lurking. She only made it 180 degrees before she stopped dead in her tracks, almost not believing her eyes.

A wave of welcome rolled over her and Rose had to fight back tears as she looked at the TARDIS. It had been so long. She rushed to the door and ran a loving hand over the blue panels as she dug out her key and inserted it in the lock.

Rose took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever she found inside, and pushed the door open.

Rose was taken aback when she entered the TARDIS and found an almost Victorian interior instead of familiar coral and grating. There was evidence that the room had once been even grander than its current look. Bookshelves stood depleted of their stock and there were a few side tables that were toppled over on their sides. One looked like it had scorch marks on it.

She wandered further inside, mentally sending compliments to the TARDIS as she took in the different yet familiar console. What timeline was she in? And where was the Doctor?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The Doctor was on full alert even as his sore muscles protested being pulled taut once more. He had just changed the locks recently and no one but him had a key. He didn't think the TARDIS would let just anyone in, much less greet them with such enthusiasm as she was currently projecting, but the war had done a number on both of them and she could be confused.

Finally the door swung open and a blonde humanoid female slipped inside, closing the door behind her as she took a few steps into the console room. She was looking around the cavernous interior like it was a wonder which wasn't an uncommon reaction, but not one he was expecting from someone who had unceremoniously let themselves in.

She hadn't seen him yet as his chair was partially in the shadows but the Doctor was tired of waiting for her to notice him.

"You know, it's not polite to just barge into someone's home," he commented, not bothering to hide the threat underlying his innocuous words. "Come to think of it, it's not safe either. You should leave."

The girl startled, jerking away from where she was practically stroking the edge of the console. She peered into the darkness and he could tell the moment she spotted him as she stiffened.

"Doctor?"

That was interesting, she knew his name. "That would be me and if you know who I am, you should know that when I tell someone to leave, tell them to run, that they really should do so."

To his surprise she didn't turn tail and run or even show any fear. She laughed. What a puzzling creature that had stumbled into his TARDIS.

"I do know that, yeah. But I also know you're not going to hurt me, so I'm not going anywhere just yet," she said firmly.

With the longer sample of her speech he picked up on the London accent. Most likely human then. 21st century or 30th judging by her clothing. The weapon strapped to her hip pointed to the former time period, but the tech on her wrist made him think 30th century might be more likely.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. I have no idea who you are and I'm not having the best go of things right now. Makes me irritable and unpredictable and I really don't want company." He paused, leaned forward so his face was out of the shadows and his forbidding expression was clear. "So, I'm going to tell you again. Leave."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Rose was captivated by this version of the Doctor. Obviously she was too early in his timeline, had found him before he found her. His obvious hostility stung but it was still _him_. And this him had a mesmerizing voice, velvety and dark and dangerous. She was positive he was quite the charmer when he put his mind to it, as silver-tongued as the Doctor she was trying to get back to.

Just now though, he was trying to scare her off. She was struggling not to scoff at him. He'd sent her away one too many times and she wasn't going to stand for it any longer. She did have to laugh at him commenting that she should run when he said run.

Honestly, she'd been doing just that since the moment that they'd met. But she ran with him, not away from him and he was really going to have to get that through his head if they were going to get anywhere.

"I do know that, yeah," she confirmed. "But I also know you're not going to hurt me, so I'm not going anywhere just yet."

She could feel him assessing her, slightly unnerved by the fact that she couldn't quite see his face as it was in the shadows. He started talking again but she lost track of what he was saying as soon as he leaned forward to give her her first look at his face.

Rose gasped and closed the distance between them. She stopped a foot away from him, raising her hand like she was going to touch his cheek before freezing, remembering that he might not welcome her touch. "You're hurt," she said, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth as she took in the blood on his attractive face. Knowing him he probably had other injuries as well that she couldn't see.

He batted her hand aside. "That's what happens when you're fighting a war," he bit out, slumping in his seat.

Rose sucked in a sharp breath. There was only one war he could be talking about. The Time War. He was in the middle of it right now and there was nothing she could do to protect him from the horrors she knew he was facing or the impossible choice that was still in his future.

"So you know about the war," he commented tonelessly after watching her reaction. The deep sorrow and familiarity in her eyes as she looked at him was unnerving. It was like she was staring into his soul, like she knew something he didn't. He didn't think he wanted to know what could inspire such a look, if he was being honest.

He continued talking, trying to ignore the curiosity about this girl that was building. "That's surprising for someone who seems to be human. Usually your species is too wrapped up in themselves to notice anything else."

Rose wanted to laugh and cry at his roundabout way of calling her a stupid ape. Definitely the same man. It pained her to see him so obviously hurt and on edge, to see the effect of the war first hand. Apparently she was never going to know what the Doctor had been like before the war took its toll on him. Her first Doctor had been haunted by it, had still been recovering from its horrors when they met and her second Doctor still had nightmares, still suffered from the guilt of his actions in the war this Doctor was currently fighting.

"Why don't we go to the medbay and get you fixed up?" Rose suggested, dodging the obvious fact that he wanted her to confirm she was human. The less information she revealed the better in this situation, she thought. No telling what this would do to the timelines. The TARDIS seemed okay with her being here and she was so happy to be surrounded by her presence that she wasn't going to leave immediately, despite her uncertainty and this Doctor's suspicion.

"No, I think I'm going to stay right here until you tell me who you are and how you got into my TARDIS," the Doctor said, crossing his arms.

"I'm a friend," she said shortly. "Is the medbay functional?"

"Told you I'm not going anywhere so that's irrelevant," he replied stubbornly.

"Wasn't asking you," she shot back.

Sure enough, the Doctor felt his ship hum an affirmative at their unexpected visitor. Curiouser and curiouser, he thought.

Without another word his mysterious visitor backed away from him and disappeared down the corridor, presumably to find the medbay.

There was no way he was letting a stranger wander his TARDIS unsupervised, even if the ship seemed to be fond of this particular stranger and he didn't seem to be a stranger to her. He dragged himself to his feet and started down the corridor after her, ribs and ankle twinging with every movement. He needed answers and he needed the medbay. Following her would lead him to both, he hoped.


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor walked into the medbay to find his visitor rifling through one of the cupboards, muttering to herself. He cleared his throat to get her attention and she spun around, portable dermal regenerator in hand.

"Glad you decided to join me. It'll be much easier to fix you up in here than in the console room," she said.

The Doctor sighed. "If I let you give me medical attention will you answer some of my questions?"

The woman gave an enigmatic smile, equal parts affection and sadness. It was beautiful and he found himself wondering what her smile looked like when it was born of joy.

"You can ask as many questions as you want. I'll answer if I can." Her voice held an apologetic note as she approached him with the dermal regenerator.

"If you can?" He echoed in disbelief, eyebrows climbing his forehead. "You appear out of nowhere and just start making yourself at home on my ship and you're not going to explain yourself?"

"Sounds about right," she said.

"That's not fair." He was aware that he sounded like a petulant toddler but he was frustrated and in pain and couldn't bring himself to completely care.

"Life rarely is," she quipped. "Now are you going to let me at those cuts on your face or are you going to keep pretending that you're not in pain?"

He sat down heavily on the exam table and waved a hand, signaling for her to proceed. He could feel the warmth radiating off her hands as she brought the tool close to his face. She switched it on and the room filled with its mechanical hum as it knit skin together layer by layer, healing his superficial cuts.

He didn't last long before starting his questions. "How did you get into my TARDIS?"

The blonde gave him a look. "I have a key."

"I know that but I just changed the locks recently and haven't given anyone a key," he argued.

"Yet," she said, smiling faintly as she moved to the cut on his temple.

It was such a small word. Three letters, one syllable, but it held so much potential.

"You're from my future," he breathed. "That's how you have a key and knew who I was and about the war."

"You know better than anyone that timelines can be fragile things, Doctor, and I'd really not like to jeopardize the one I'm living in by saying the wrong thing to you right now," she answered carefully.

Rose set the dermal regenerator down and turned around, heading for the sink. She wet a flannel, the running water deafening in the silence that had fallen after her statement. The Doctor seemed to be lost in thought.

She held out the flannel and he took it, immediately using it to clean the blood and dirt off of his face.

"Are you going to tell me about your other injuries so we can take care of those, too? Or are you going to fixate on all the questions you want to ask but know I can't answer?" Rose asked after taking the flannel back from him and depositing it in the sink.

He stood up and moved towards the full body scanner, wincing as he moved. "It'll be faster if I just let the scanner find everything and take care of it. Been patching myself up for years."

"The thing is you don't have to this time," she said gently.

"I appreciate your help," he replied, trying to sound as genuine as possible, "but it really will be faster to just let the scanner take care of the rest."

Rose nodded in acknowledgement and sat down on the rolling chair that was available. She watched as the Doctor set the controls of the scanner before it set to work with a whirr.

"May I at least ask your name?" he said after a few moments of silence.

She hesitated and the Doctor could see the debate she was having as to whether it would affect anything. The TARDIS gave her an encouraging nudge and Rose smiled, grateful for the help.

"My name's Rose."

The Doctor had felt the TARDIS reach out to the girl, to Rose, and it reminded him of one of his other pressing questions. He had a feeling she wouldn't answer this one but he had to ask.

"It's lovely to meet you, Rose. Would you care to explain how you are able to communicate with my TARDIS so easily and why she was so excited when you showed up?"

Rose let out a laugh at his eagerness to get on with his questions and not dwell on the revelation of her name.

"Something funny?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Just you," she answered honestly. "I can't tell you much about my connection with the TARDIS though. Something happened between the two of us that made talkin' a lot easier but we got on even before that. As to why she was so excited, you'll have to ask her. As far as I know, this is the first time she's met me."

"The TARDIS has a unique relationship with time," the Doctor said. Rose smiled, recognizing the start of an informative lecture. His voice might be different but the tone hadn't changed. "She exists in all timestreams simultaneously and doesn't experience linear time in quite the same way you or I would. She must have recognized you from my future, especially if you have some sort of connection with her that is entwined somehow with a major event in her personal timeline or time in general."

The last bit was a stab in the dark and the Doctor watched to see if Rose would give away any hints on her face.

"Could definitely be considered one of those tipping points, yeah. Both personally and for time in general," she answered. Rose pushed off the floor, rolling over to one of the walls and stroked her hand down it. "You always have new surprises for me. Brilliant, you are."

The TARDIS glowed at her praise and the Doctor's hearts warmed too. His ship generally liked his companions but he'd never seen her act like this with anyone besides him. Somehow, this girl and his ship had become friends and it was an unexpected delight to witness.

Rose looked back over at the Doctor, flat on his back as the scanner moved over his body for the last pass. This was so dangerous being here with him before he knew her, even more dangerous than some of the hellscapes she'd landed in recently while jumping parallels. She knew she should leave but it was _him_ and she'd been searching for so long. Surely no one would begrudge her a few stolen hours, especially if she was careful about what she told him.

She knew that if it came down to it she would lie through her teeth for just a couple more seconds with him. A few white lies wouldn't hurt anyone.

(She also knew that she would probably do much more than tell innocuous lies for this time with him but hopefully it wouldn't come to that.)

The Doctor watched as Rose's eyes shuttered. Wherever she had just gone in her head didn't include him. Fifteen minutes ago he'd wanted her to leave his TARDIS, leave him alone, but now all he wanted was her attention back on him. There was something about her that intrigued him. She radiated familiarity and yet she remained a closed book to him, an enigma in a startlingly blue leather jacket.

He wanted to know her and for a brief moment was blindingly jealous of whatever future incarnation of himself had that privilege.

The scanner beeped, announcing that it had finished and the Doctor sat up, noting with relief that his ribs no longer ached with the movement. He hopped to his feet and on a whim held his hand out to Rose, wiggling his fingers to invite her to take it.

She accepted the invitation and he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face when their fingers laced together.

"I thought we could continue our conversation somewhere more comfortable. The library, perhaps? I've spent more time in the medbay recently than I would like and prefer not to spend more time here than necessary."

"Lead on, Doctor," Rose said, squeezing his hand gently.

They made a quick pitstop in the galley to make tea, only talking to determine if the other wanted milk or sugar. Rose was amused to find this Doctor's preference was lemon and no sugar. Both of her Doctors had been rather fond of sugar. Mugs in hand, they continued to the library.

They settled in armchairs that were opposite each other, the Doctor noting that Rose only gave the room a cursory look as if she was accustomed to its rather grand appearance. Which gave rise to a question she might actually answer…

"I see you're used to the library," he started, taking a sip of his tea.

"Well, yeah. Spent a lot of time in here. Couch is different in my time though," Rose answered.

He spared a glance for the green monstrosity that currently resided in the sitting area. "Ah yes, I've been meaning to replace that for a while."

"Might want to burn it."

"I'll take that into consideration," he said dryly. "You're obviously very used to my home then."

Rose just hummed her assent and the Doctor felt a spike of annoyance shoot through him. She was avoiding anything but direct questions for the most part and it irritated him. She might be a friend in the future but here and now he had no idea who she really was and he had very few reasons to trust her and every reason to demand answers.

"So why is it that you seemed surprised by the console room when you unceremoniously barged in? If you're so familiar with my TARDIS, surely you've seen it before."

"Just looked different than what I'm used to in my time," she said, narrowing her eyes at the return of his hostile tone. "Bit more ornate."

Rose could see him filing away that bit of information, harmless though it was. She'd hoped he was done with his questions now that he knew she was from the future but apparently he just had more and had reverted back to the lack of trust he'd shown in the console room. She was trying to determine if she had done anything specific to set him off when his next question blindsided her.

"If you're from my future, why are you here? Why are you using some sort of time travel technology I don't even recognize and not with my future self?"

Rose tugged the wrist with the dimension cannon closer to her body, not wanting the Doctor to look at it too closely and realize that it wasn't just a time travel device. Looks like her earlier resolution that she would lie if she had to was going to come into play.

"We got separated in the future, you and I," she said slowly.

"I imagine that happens quite frequently," he shot back. "Why haven't I picked you back up from wherever I lost you if I want you around?"

The insinuation that his future self didn't want her around hit Rose hard and her face went blank, blocking the Doctor from seeing that his barb had hit home. Apparently, being a grade A prick sometimes was a trait that spanned more than the two incarnations she had travelled with.

This him didn't need her anyways. He was fighting a war where no help was even possible and struggling with the darkness within himself that the war brought to the surface and she couldn't make it any easier on him. She would be there to help pick up the pieces when he made it out the other side of the war and she needed to get back to that task, not stay here to watch him start to fracture.

It was time to leave.

"You know what?" Rose started, setting her tea down on the side table. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. " _You_ obviously don't want me around, so why don't I just leave? It's probably better all around. Yeah, I think I'll do just that. Have a nice life, Doctor, see ya when I see ya, I guess."

She gave him a sarcastic little salute and made a beeline for the door. It was for the best, she thought. If she left now, she wouldn't risk damaging the timelines by saying something stupid like the fact that he _couldn't_ get her in the future because the Time Lords weren't there to assist or that she was fighting her way back to him because the multiverse was in danger again. If she stayed she might let something slip that let on she was in love with his future self, with his whole self regardless of regeneration so far, and she didn't think he would take that well when he knew nothing about her.

The Doctor was frozen in place by the anger and hurt in her glare, by the inexplicable hint of sadness glinting in the amber depths, and didn't react immediately when she got to her feet and started to stalk towards the door. He knew she was giving more away than she intended to with the emotions she was radiating but he couldn't process it all right then. He'd lashed out in frustration and set her off and now he had to stop her from leaving. He didn't know why, but it felt imperative that he stop her from walking out that door, and to do that he needed to act right then.

"Rose, wait. Please."


	3. Chapter 3

_"Rose, wait. Please."_

Rose stilled with her hand on the door handle. "Why should I?" she asked without turning to face him.

"I don't know," the Doctor answered honestly. "You have every reason, every right, to walk out that door right now and I should just let you but…" he trailed off.

Rose turned, needing to see his expression to judge his sincerity. "But…" she prompted.

He swallowed hard. "But I feel like letting you leave right now would be something I would regret greatly. I can't begin to understand it, don't know why I feel like it would be a monumental mistake, but that's it."

The Doctor started pacing, gesticulating with increasingly agitated movements. "It doesn't make any sense. All logic says you should go, that we shouldn't risk the timelines by continuing this association for any longer than necessary but I can't stop myself from trying to keep you here even though I was the one to drive you away in the first place!"

"Doing a bang up job of that, by the way," Rose cut in sourly.

"I know. I can be quite rude when I put my mind to it," he admitted, deflating slightly.

"Pretty used to that, actually," Rose said. "The later yous I travelled with were often rude whether they entirely meant to be or not."

The Doctor stopped pacing to peer at the blonde leaning back against the library door. He didn't know if she had meant to reveal the fact that she'd travelled with more than one version of him or not. It certainly was enlightening though, helping to explain why she seemed so nonchalant about finding him with a different face than she presumably knew.

"While the revelation of my future rudeness is a bit disturbing," the Doctor started, taking a step closer to her, "are you telling me that you travelled with more than one of my future incarnations?"

Rose's eyes widened. She hadn't actually meant to tell him that. It had just kind of slipped out. Too late to take it back now, though, might as well own up to it. Maybe telling him a bit of the truth would deter the Doctor from asking too many more questions.

Then again, it could just fuel his curiosity even more.

"Yeah," she confirmed after a moment. "Travelled with two of your later selves and let me tell you right now for future reference that exploding into golden light after a cryptic speech about death and then emerging with a new face and everything is _not_ the best way to introduce someone to the concept of regeneration." Rose crossed her arms over her chest as she spoke and raised an eyebrow. "You know, just in case you were wonderin'."

The Doctor winced. "No, I rather think that would be a spectacularly bad way to go about it. Apparently it didn't scare you off though."

"Would take a lot more than regeneration to get rid of me, Doctor," Rose said softly.

Her tone was unexpectedly tender with notes of longing and wistfulness bleeding through causing the Doctor to wonder just what had happened to inspire those emotions in relation to himself.

"Why haven't I picked you up from wherever I lost you in the future, then?" He questioned, much more gently than he had before. "Surely future me must know that you don't take separation lying down."

Rose smiled that sad smile again, the one that didn't quite reach her eyes and spoke of exhaustion and hardship. "You think it's impossible to ever see me again. I'm working on proving you wrong. Again."

"I do believe you will do just that, Rose," he declared. "I have a feeling you spend a lot of time doing things I would never expect and I should really know better in my old age than to say never ever."

Rose felt a chill go down her spine at the half-familiar words, ghosts of the ones spoken beneath fireworks on a night where lost things were found and everyone lived.

They stared at each other for a few charged seconds in a stalemate before the Doctor invited her to sit down again and at least finish her tea before leaving.

Rose took her seat, sinking into the soft armchair with a sigh. She picked up her cup and took a sip of her rapidly cooling tea, never taking her eyes off the Doctor who was doing the same thing.

He rested his cup on his knee and continued staring at Rose as if she held all the answers in the universe. "You know, I get the distinct feeling that even when we travel together you'll be an enigma to me."

Rose snorted. "Believe me, you're the one who's all closed off and mysterious. You talk and talk and talk, especially in the second version of you that I know, but you never really say anything. I know bits and pieces of your past because I'm stubborn and really good at listening but it's no more than scraps."

"But you know of the Time War," he said, softly.

"I know it happened. I know you had to fight in it even though it goes against everything you try to stand for in the universe. I know…" she paused, swallowed hard. "I know the toll it took on you."

"You know how it ends, don't you?" The Doctor asked softly. Rose opened her mouth but he held up a hand to stop her before she started speaking. "I'm not going to ask you to divulge that information, Rose. I know better than that, although I wish I didn't. I just needed to know that it does end."

"It does," Rose whispered. Her heart ached for this Doctor who was looking for a shred of hope in the darkness, wishing for the end of the war without an inkling of what it meant for him, of everything he would lose in the process.

"It ends and I find you somewhere," he said.

"Yeah, in a department store basement of all places," Rose said with a small laugh, trying to pull him away from the topic of the end of the war.

"That's a delightfully unique place to find someone as fascinating as you," he answered with a bit of a manic twinkle in his eyes. Apparently he was just as eager to stop talking about the war as she was. "I look forward to finding out why I was in a department store basement at some point in my future. Not somewhere I make a habit of visiting, I must admit."

"I'm a special case," Rose teased.

"That much is obvious, my dear."

They lapsed into silence once more, teacups slowly emptying as the hum of the TARDIS enveloped them both, keeping it from becoming awkward.

"Well we can't keep talking about my future," the Doctor said.

"Got a better idea, then?" Rose asked. "'Cause I'm not ready to leave quite yet."

"Why don't we get some more tea and I'll tell you some stories of past adventures. I'm bound to have some you haven't heard yet."

"I know you do. You…you don't talk about your past much when I know you."

A shadow crossed over the Doctor's face, his mask dropping for just a moment revealing the deep sadness that lived inside of him. "Sometimes the past is all you have," he said after a few seconds. "The stories may not always have a happy ending but they're full of happy moments and I try to remember that."

"Come on, Doctor. Let's go get some tea and then you can tell me about those happy moments."

They made another trip to the galley and gathered a teapot each and a tray full of nibbles to take back to the library. Once they made it back, they sat down on the green couch, the tray between them.

"I'm not kidding about you needing to burn this couch, Doctor. It's awful," Rose said as she tried to settle into it. The piece of furniture seemed designed to be as uncomfortable as it was ugly.

"I'm seriously considering it. I'd forgotten how uncomfortable it was."

Their eyes met as they both squirmed on the couch and laughs rang out, hers a giggle, his a deep, rich chuckle.

"Floor?" she suggested.

"Has to be better than this," he agreed. They filched cushions from the chairs and relocated to in front of the fireplace.

They poured cups of tea and Rose nibbled on a biscuit as the Doctor launched into a story about a girl he met on the R101 and how they'd escaped the doomed airship and run from her destined fate.

He told her stories about a universe without time and the friend they'd met there and brought back to this universe. Rose laughed when he told her about the times C'rizz would change colors to mimic him and make Charley smile. He told her of the brash Lucie who had unexpectedly become his best friend and hid a giant heart underneath her sarcasm and wit.

He didn't tell her what had happened to any of them, where they were now, and Rose didn't ask. They were focusing on the happy moments, not the lack of happy endings.

The Doctor was in the middle of telling her about when he met Mary Shelley when Rose was blindsided by a huge yawn.

"I'm sorry," she said through another yawn. "I've been on the go for almost twenty-four hours straight."

"Then I shouldn't keep you up any longer," the Doctor said. "I've been awake for much longer than I should have been, myself. Would you like to stay here for the night? Get some sleep before moving forward with your search for future me?"

"That would be brilliant. Sleeping without the TARDIS noise was almost impossible for months after we got separated," Rose admitted.

"Well then, it's decided."

He stood up and offered a hand to help Rose to her feet. When she was face to face with him once more, he was the once yawning. She raised an eyebrow.

"I did say I was rather tired," he defended.

"Just don't see you yawn very often."

"It's been known to happen on occasion."

"Apparently," Rose responded, yawning again herself.

The Doctor took her hand again and led her out of the library and towards one of the spare bedrooms. He paused in the corridor outside the room, reluctant to let her go. Talking with her had let him forget about the war and the darkness creeping into his soul for just a little bit. When he left her here it would be to go to his own room to battle his nightmares for a few hours of sleep and he wanted to put that off for a minute longer.

"Here we are," he said. "Guest room right behind this door. Knowing the TARDIS and how much she likes you, it could actually be the room that'll be yours in the future."

"Thank you, Doctor," Rose said quietly, squeezing his hand.

"Goodnight, Rose," the Doctor replied.

Rose didn't turn and enter her room like he expected her to. Instead she rose up on her toes and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. It was chaste and innocent, nothing more than a press of lips on lips, but it said more than a million words could and he couldn't help but return it.

He pulled away first and his voice was rough when he spoke. "That was unexpected."

Rose shrugged. "Just felt right. Goodnight, Doctor."

This time she did open her door and disappear inside. He lingered for a moment before turning and starting down the corridor towards his room.

He had only made it about five steps when he heard the door open again.

"Doctor?" Rose sounded tentative, like she had when she had first stepped into his TARDIS.

He turned to face her. "Yes, Rose?"

"Do you maybe want to stay here with me? Just to sleep? S'just I've spent so long looking for you and letting you go somewhere on the other side of the ship when you could be _here_ …" she trailed off and brought her hand up to her mouth, chewing on the side of her thumb while she waited for him to answer.

"I would love to, Rose. To be honest, I was loathe to go to my own room anyways."

"Nightmares?" she asked, automatically. It was why her Doctors put off sleep for as long as possible.

He nodded.

"Come on, then. Maybe we can chase off each other's nightmares tonight and actually get some rest."

The Doctor said nothing as he followed her into the room. She found some pajamas in one of the drawers and based on the look she threw the wall, it was a pair she wore sometime in the future that the TARDIS had put out for her. While she changed in the ensuite, the Doctor rustled up some sleeping clothes as well and quickly changed into flannel bottoms and a t-shirt before sitting on the edge of the bed awaiting his future companion's return.

When she did, she walked to the side of the bed opposite of where he was sitting and slipped under the covers. She patted the other side of the bed, inviting the Doctor to lie down without saying a word. He lifted the duvet and slid in next to Rose. They faced each other from their separate pillows, unsure what to do next.

"I'm a bit of a cuddler, do you mind?" Rose asked.

"Not at all," he said with a chuckle.

Rose immediately scooted closer, draping an arm over his waist and resting her head in the hollow of his shoulder.

"Good night, Doctor," she mumbled.

"Good night, Rose," he said, smiling softly down at the top of her head. He dropped a quick kiss to her hair and drifted off to sleep, lulled by the music created by the TARDIS's hum and Rose's heartbeat.

When he woke up, he immediately knew it had been six hours. Six hours of completely uninterrupted, nightmare free sleep. He had a feeling that it was entirely due to the blonde who was still asleep on his chest, snoring softly.

He smiled and smoothed a hand over her hair. She snuffled quietly, nuzzling further into his chest. She woke up slowly, finally lifting her head, blearily meeting his eyes.

"Mornin'."

"Good morning, Rose," he said, still smiling.

She rolled off of him and stumbled towards the bathroom. When she emerged she was back in her blue leather jacket, the unknown tech strapped to her wrist once again. He was back in his regular clothes again and opened his mouth to say something, running his hand through his dark curls nervously, but she held up a hand to stop him.

"Caffeine before anythin' else," she said.

The Doctor laughed. "Not a morning person?"

"Not even close."

It was after a cup of tea and a small breakfast that they made their way back to the console room. The Doctor leaned against the console and watched as Rose trailed her fingers along various pieces of furniture as she looked around.

"Time for you to go, I suppose," the Doctor said, breaking the uneasy silence that had fallen between them after leaving the galley.

"Yeah. Have to go find you and save the universe again." Rose smiled, trying to soften the blow.

"It's just that when you showed up I was so ready to give up on everything to do with this war. I'd forgotten why I was trying. You reminded me and I can't thank you enough for that."

"You'll get through this war, Doctor. You'll survive and I'm waiting on the other side of it for you to meet for the first time," Rose said, stepping forward to take his hands in hers.

"I don't know you when we meet, do I?" The Doctor asked sadly, already knowing the answer.

Rose shook her head, an apology shining in her eyes.

"I don't want to forget you," he whispered.

"You have to. I'm coming back for you though and I want you to know that I'm always going to come for you. You won't be alone, no matter what."

He didn't answer, just captured her lips with his in a searing kiss that was nothing like the chaste one from the previous night. He poured all of his desperation and fear into it, trying to convey how much he didn't want to let her leave. Rose answered it with the love that she could show but couldn't speak to this form of him who didn't know her.

Rose pulled away gently, cupping his cheek in her hand. "You take care of yourself, Doctor."

"As long as you promise to do the same."

"I promise." Rose said sincerely. She paused, biting her lip as she considered her next words. "I'll miss you."

"But you're going to go find me," he pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'm still going to miss this you."

"I may have to forget all of this for a while, but I have a feeling that I'll miss you all the same," the Doctor replied softly, resting his forehead against hers.

"What do you mean 'for a while'?" Rose asked. "Will you be able to get these memories back one day?"

"Yes, I'm just going to tuck them away in a locked box in the back of my mind and give you the key. When you get back to me in the future, tell me…" he trailed off, trying to think of a trigger that would work. "Tell me you hope that I really did burn that green couch and the memories will unlock."

Rose gave him a watery giggle, unable to stop the tears from building in her eyes as their inevitable goodbye quickly approached. "I can remember that."

"You'll have to remember for me," he said softly.

Rose nodded and pulled away. "It's time," she said. "Drawing this out is just going to make it harder."

"I know." He led her to the doors of the TARDIS and pulled her in for one last hug.

"I will find you, Doctor," she said into his jacket. Her voice was determined and it wasn't until she pulled back that he realized there were tears streaming down her cheeks. "I will."

"I know," he said again. He cupped her cheek, wiping tears away with his thumb. His breath caught at the emotion shining out of her eyes.

He pressed his lips to hers one more time in a gentle kiss, in a goodbye.

"Until we meet again," he said when he pulled away. "Good luck, Rose."

"Goodbye, Doctor." It looked like she was on the verge of saying more but just squeezed his hand and slipped out the doors, the soft click of the latch closing as loud as the Cloister Bell to the Doctor.

It was only moments later that Rose disappeared from the planet, from the universe, in a flash of blue light. Inside the incongruous blue box, the Doctor carefully stored his memories away. When he looked back up, he had no clue how long he'd been asleep or why there were tear tracks on his cheeks, but he felt more rested and more hopeful than he had since the start of the war.

Something on the console beeped and the Doctor wandered over and found a message from Romana. It was time to return to war but he felt like they were finally nearing the end.

* * *

 **A/N:** There may be an epilogue to this, haven't decided yet. So keep an eye out if you're interested!


	4. epilogue

Rose makes it back to the Doctor and unlocks his memories. This epilogue is Ten/Rose.

So I decided to do an epilogue after all. Kind of threw canon straight out the window for this so if you'd like to keep this story in keeping with "canon minus the 50th" which is where it was before, feel free to skip this little addition.

* * *

The Doctor slowly circled the console, flicking switches and hitting buttons in a slow motion version of his normal navigational dance. It had been a rough few weeks since their disastrous visit to Midnight and he'd been keeping him and Donna on the run, trying to forget the feeling of having his mind violated as deeply as it had been. It was time for a break though, and Donna hadn't been shy in letting him know it.

His ears were still ringing, actually.

The Doctor knew that a relaxing trip was in order and, for Donna, relaxing was synonymous with shopping most of the time. He'd decided on Shan Shen for their next destination. Donna could wander the giant marketplace to her heart's content while he looked for parts or worked on the TARDIS. It was a win win for them both.

He stroked the edge of the console. The TARDIS sounded _off_ today and was sluggish in responding to the coordinates he was inputting, like she was fighting him for some reason.

"Come on, old girl. We need to get Donna somewhere where she doesn't have to run for her life or she might regenerate me."

The TARDIS groaned at him and before he could send her another plea she abruptly exited the Vortex without prompting from him, the jolt sending him stumbling into the railing. Another bump as she finished materializing had him falling onto the console.

He checked the screen to see where they had landed. It certainly wasn't Shan Shen, that much he knew as the numbers scrolled across the monitor. The scanner revealed his location to be a small, rocky, uninhabited planet in a sparsely populated sector of 42nd century space. The coordinates seemed familiar somehow, like a half-forgotten dream, but he was almost positive he'd never been here before, had no reason to have been here before.

There was no reason for the TARDIS to have brought him here. Something had to be wrong.

He turned the monitor off and made his way under the grating to see if he could figure out what was ailing his ship before Donna woke up.

He missed the blue flash on the surface of the planet that heralded the arrival of another lifeform on the uninhabited rock by ten seconds.

He didn't, however, miss the deluge of excitement and love that his ship started exuding five seconds after he crawled under the grating. The sudden outpouring caused the Doctor to jolt in surprise, the sudden movement resulting in him banging his head against something.

Rubbing the sore spot, he popped back up from the inner workings of his ship. "What is it? Surely I've been giving you enough attention, no need to get excited just because I popped under the console."

The TARDIS sent him the mental equivalent of a raspberry, humming in delight at how this mirrored his first reaction to Rose showing up all those years ago. The console room brightened as she grew more excited, her wolf had finally made it back home.

The Doctor was sending queries to his ship, trying to figure out just why she was so excited, but she was ignoring him. He pulled himself up from the underbelly of his ship and started walking around the console, looking for anything out of the ordinary, trying to ignore the strange sense of déjà vu he was getting.

He froze, hidden behind the time rotor, when he heard a key turning in the lock.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Rose appeared in a flash of blue light. Travelling via dimension cannon hadn't gotten any easier but she'd learned from repeated experience how to be ready to run as soon as she landed. When she flashed into existence she immediately started cataloging her surroundings, hand on her stun gun. She stumbled as she recognized the rocky planet.

This is where she'd found the Doctor before. It had been two months, possibly more, since she'd finally found the right universe and stumbled into the TARDIS of an earlier Doctor who was embroiled in the Time War.

Slowly, she started turning, trying to figure out why she'd been deposited on the same planet once more. She was still evaluating her surroundings when a mental wave of love washed over her. Rose squeezed her eyes closed and reveled in the feeling for a second before spinning quickly to locate the TARDIS.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she took in the familiar and missed blue box. It was her TARDIS, the one that she'd been torn away from. This had to finally be the right timeline. It _felt_ right.

Rose took off at a run towards the ship, skidding to a stop in front of it as she dug her key out. Hands shaking, she inserted the key and turned it.

Taking a deep breath and preparing herself for whatever she found inside, Rose pushed the doors open and stepped inside the TARDIS.

Her eyes ran over the familiar coral and grating greedily, drinking in the sights that she'd yearning for since the day she'd been trapped in Pete's World. Haltingly, she took a few steps towards the console, eyes sweeping the room, looking to see if anyone was in or if she was going to have to go find the Doctor.

"Rose?" The single syllable sounded like it had been forced out of his throat. It was full of hope and disbelief and desperation.

Rose's eyes snapped to the left where the Doctor was frozen next to the jumpseat. Her eyes filled with tears. It had been _so_ long since she'd heard that voice, since she'd seen that face, and not a day had passed that she hadn't missed them.

"Hello, Doctor," she choked out, smile taking over her face as a few tears escaped.

"H-how?" He stuttered out, still not moving. "Are you really here?"

Rose smiled even wider and nodded. "I'm really here," she said.

She took a step towards him, then another. Before she knew it she was running across the console room and collided with him with enough force to send him reeling into the jumpseat.

The Doctor instinctively wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the juncture between her neck and shoulder.

He felt more at home than he had since that day at Canary Wharf.

It was a full minute before he managed to pull back, ignoring the slight wetness on his cheeks. "How, Rose? How are you here? I tried everything I could think of to get back to you."

"Must've come up with something you didn't, then," Rose teased. At his serious look, she continued. "The stars are going out in Pete's World and the whole multiverse is in danger. The damage is catastrophic enough to have weakened the dimensional walls enough for a single person to slip through without causing any further harm. So we built a dimension cannon and I've been hopping through dimensions trying to find you."

"Rose Tyler," he said, wonder coloring his words. "You are brilliant. Thought we were done hopping for our lives but I guess a classic is always in order."

Rose giggled. She reached up and cupped his cheek in her hand. It was time to let him know what else she'd come across while jumping. She'd dreamed about this moment, about getting back and unlocking his memories but she'd never imagined she'd be quite this nervous.

She stroked her thumb across his skin. "Speaking of classics, you used to have horrible taste in sitting room furniture." She ignored his baffled look and forged on. "I really hope that you burned that green monstrosity you called a couch."

"Rose, what are you talking ab-" he cut off mid-word and Rose could practically see the memories unfolding in his mind. A tentative smile spread over her face as his eyes snapped down to meet hers. "Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." Rose answered, tugging at the hem of her blue jacket with her free hand.

"You met an earlier me."

"Yeah, I did."

"Oh, this makes so much sense," he enthused, taking her hand as a goofy grin took over his face.

"Does it?"

"It does. You were the reason I had the strength to do what I needed to do to end the war, why I had the tiniest spark of hope that led me to keep going after the war."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Doctor. Seeing you stuck in the middle of it was…" she trailed off.

The Doctor winced and released her hand to rub at the back of his neck. "Yes, I wasn't at my best. I seem to have been unpardonably rude to you. I should probably apologize."

"Wasn't the first time you were rude," Rose pointed out, "at least not for me."

He nodded in assent. "I wasn't the only rude one, though."

"No?"

"Definitely not. It was entirely rude of you to kiss a past me, multiple times no less, before I got a proper kiss from you in our timeline."

"You angling for a snog, Doctor?" Rose asked, looping her arms around his neck.

"Might be," he said with a sniff. "After all, this is a reunion and one that should be impossible. I vote snogging is in order, no more waiting or excuses."

"Then stop talking and kiss me," Rose answered, mouth centimeters from his.

The Doctor did just that. They still had the multiverse to save and memories and unfinished declarations to sort out and discuss but for those few moments while they explored each other's mouths, everything was perfect.


End file.
